The goals I was listing was not what the LORD would have me share.  The goals themselves were well and good.  Nothing totally new though.  Just a stronger focus on areas I’ve previously needed to work on.  But this evening, the LORD revealed to me that all the goal setting I was doing and have attempted to do over the years have foundationally failed to focus on the most important thing — HIMSELF.  More specifically, to focus on Christ…..

without

** N-O-I-S-E **

Sure I have set goals and plans in the past to pray more, have my “quiet time”, read the Bible more, etc. (and will continue to strive to do those things).  But, the “noise” in my life is competing for my attention.  The “noise” is constantly distracting me from fully focusing and meditating on Him.  I am referring to those extra things in my life I have allowed to consume my time and my thoughts above Christ and above my priorities.

To better explain what I’m trying to get at, I would like to share Tim Conway’s (no, not the comedian☺) sermon video below.  It is a 6 minute excerpt from his sermon titled “Meditate on Christ, No Matter the Cost” via www.illbehonest.com.  It was a great reminder for me this evening!

2012 GOALS:

Eliminate the noise & Meditate deeper on Christ

I will be praying for direction and wisdom to identify all the noise in my life that is unfruitful and a stumbling block, and be purposeful to eliminate (or significantly reduce) them.  My utmost desire this year is to better and more passionately seek Christ as like a hidden Treasure (Proverbs 2:4-5) – to consistently put Christ as a top priority in my life.  To also have, as Mr. Conway exhorted, regular times in my life where I can meditate alone on Christ and His Glory. 

I realize that I will not be able to love Him perfectly on this side of heaven and will always be seeking to better live for Him.  I also realize there will always be “noise” in my life, from commitments to mental thoughts.  How I wisely manage the noise is at the root of the issue, and it begins with Christ.  The fact is that I have put “noise” before Christ for too long and it needs to change. 

“For me to live [is] Christ, and to die [is] gain.” – Philippians 1:21

I look forward to growing so much closer to my Heavenly Father this year, more than I ever have!  He knows my desires.  I pray that my desires are in accordance with His will for my life.

I know this is a day late in getting posted.  Our lives for the past couple of months have gone through some exciting changes and has therefore caused my blogging to be temporarily put on hold.  Things are starting to normalize again so I look forward to blogging a little more regularly.  As the new year approaches, it is a great motivator for me to ponder the lessons learned, remember the blessings, and pray for direction and vision for the upcoming year.  I look forward to hopefully posting a year-end review sometime this week.  Meanwhile, here is our family’s latest Christmas page.  

Love in Christ,
The K Family

PHOTO BACKGROUND:  This family picture is the first “formal” photo of us in 8 years!  Taken with my Nikon D200 in timer mode.  After 30 min. we finally got a decent shot!  Camera was on a tripod on a wood pallet and it kept moving after I would run to my spot.  Not to mention, it was hard to run to my spot and looked relaxed before the timer would go off.  It made for an interesting session.  LOL.  Photo of me and Kevin taken by our son.  Photo of our son taken last month by yours truly.  :) 

I was able get some fun shots, especially of the cousins all together for the first time since Baby Jessa was born 10 months ago.  Wish I had taken more pictures of  the guys (our hubbies), but they just weren’t around when I was taking pictures.  Ha ha.  Well, enjoy!!

What a powerful statement!  I pray that I am such a woman, but I know that I can often be weak.  It is only because of Christ in me that Satan would tremble.  Let us not forget the REAL battle before us and what we are to do:

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].”  (Ephesians 6:12)

 

“Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13)

For those of us living in America, we can all agree that, for the most part, we are very comfortable and spoiled.  And in this comfort, it is so easy to take our eyes off of Christ and the spiritual battle raging before us.  When we do, we become UNGUARDED.  We’re vulnerable.  It is in this state that often times, trials hit us the hardest.  And when it does, it is so easy to focus on the temporal situation at hand and react in the flesh.  I’ve done it plenty.

Let us be daily reminded to put on the WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD.  The above quote banner is a visual reminder for me to keep this at the forefront of my mind.  That I would not press on unguarded but be FULLY EQUIPPED to do battle.  Amen!

Soli Deo Gloria!

“No leadership is greater

than the example found in a man

who leads his children with God’s direction.”

~ Unknown

What a powerful quote!  Amen and amen.  I am SO blessed to have such a man.  He is also quite the HIP man as well (:D) — a “husband in progress”!  Yes, my husband is still learning and growing, just as I am – as we ALL are.  But words cannot express the deep respect and love I have for this man.  Not just as my husband, but as a wonderful father.  To see the hand of God working in his life is an amazing thing to behold!  The Godly heritage my husband is leaving for our child(ren), especially when he himself was not raised with such a heritage, is truly glorious.  Only God can do such a miraculous transformation in a man’s life.  His love for our son is beautiful and apparent.  What is equally, if not more, beautiful is his deep desire to raise up our child(ren) in the love and admonition of the LORD.

This Father’s Day, I want to honor my husband for being the great father he is and has become.  It wasn’t easy for him in the beginning.  However, the change in his focus and Biblical leadership of our family came only when the LORD opened his eyes.  When the LORD grabbed his attention.  When the LORD drew him near and placed within him a deep hunger and thirst for Himself.  Kevin heard Him and began to fall more in love with Him and His Word!  The transformation did not happen overnight.  As a matter of fact, he is still being transformed.  But it is this transformation that I speak of — a transformation  I am blessed to behold and witness and be a part of.  And I am LOVING the journey that we are both on as husband and wife, and as a family.

When Kevin’s focus on Christ finally took deep root, that was the true beginning of our family’s strong foundation in Christ.  And JESUS CHRIST is this father’s heritage that he is seeking to leave for our child(ren) and our children’s children.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, honey!  I love you!

ABOUT THE PAINTING – “A FATHER’S HERITAGE” by C. Michael Dudash
Description taken by Tapestry Productions’ website

If we look beyond the obvious warmth and intimacy of the moment illustrated in A Father’s Heritage, we see a far more important event unfolding. The father is fulfilling his role as the one who is responsible to introduce his children to the Word of God. It’s the responsibility of all of us, particularly parents, to make sure that children grow up with a love and a respect for what God says. In addition to the important scene in the foreground, the background of this painting shows many of the hundreds of characters are revealed in the pages of the Bible.

Here is a video of his performance. It is password protected with our usual password for PW-protected posts.  If you can’t remember, please contact me.  ENJOY!

I have recognized many times over the years that I am simply not disciplined enough to handle other projects outside of what I’m responsible for with my marriage, family and at home.  I would then pull-out from those commitments in order to lessen the load on my schedule.  Then, after months of calmness, I would begin to get bored (or maybe feel unsatisfied??) of the slower schedule and then seek another project or hobby to be involved in, which would end up pulling me away from my priorities and distracting me.  And the cycle would continue all over again with no real lasting fruit from it.

Well, by God’s grace, I am now seeing this cycle for what it really is — INSANITY.   This vicious cycle has been active in my life for years and sadly, it continues to this day.  And it shows in my inconsistencies with getting things done, my irritableness towards family, and my selfishness to focus on my own needs over my family’s.  Not good!  Nor is it glorifying in any way to the LORD.

Many of you know my love and hobby with photography, which began in 2008.  I am blessed by what I have learned from it and the pictures that the LORD has graciously let me take of special people and families.  The downside this has had on me from (pretty much) the beginning is it distracting me away from my priorities at home.  Many people do not realize that portrait photography (which is what I specialize in) requires a lot of hours of work for 1 session — not just from the day of photographing the session, but beginning prior to the session when my mind is contemplating session location, attire, poses, equipment, my own skills,  and continuing to days after the session when you are busy processing the images.  I absolutely LOVE the whole process and I know I could be a little faster at it.  But truth must be told, it is a HUGE distraction for me and I find myself focused too much on it than I should.  Even with me closing my photography business last year and limiting sessions to 2 a month, I am STILL distracted.

Well, as the LORD is so faithful in His sanctifying work in my life, He continues to work in me, even as stubborn and as slow of a learner that I am!  Thank you, LORD!

It is over the past several months specifically, that I’ve felt the LORD impressing upon me the fact that photography is simply not the season for me in my life right now and I must set is aside.  I don’t know the LORD’s sovereign plan for me getting into photography in the first place, but I do know that, for now, I have to let go of every commitment outside of my responsibilities at home because I am obviously still not able to handle those things in my schedule.

One of the most powerful quotes that have hit me to the core as a wife and homemaker is from J. R. Miller’s book, Home-Making. It’s on the main page of my blog, but I would like to re-quote it again here:

THE WIFE’S FIRST DUTY:

“But it should be understood that for every wife the first duty is the making and keeping of her own home.  Her FIRST and BEST work should be done there, and til it is well done she has no right to go outside to take up other duties… She must look upon her home as the one spot on earth for which she alone is responsible, and which she must cultivate for God if she never does anything outside… Let it be remembered that Christ’s work in the home is the first that he gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there.” — J.R. Miller, 1882, emphasis mine

I know now that I have not completely put my first nor my best work at home.  I am so convicted but yet so encouraged at the same time!  After a conversation with my dear husband on Sunday, he lovingly and sweetly stated a truth that I NEEDED to hear and is what finally opened my eyes to making this decision about my photography.  He noticed my passion towards photography — he saw the time, $$, and energy I had put into it over these past 3 years.  He asked me why I didn’t have that same passion towards my role as a Keeper-At-Home.  Ouch.  LORD…I finally got it!  :)  It’s important to understand that he could say that of me for ANY project or hobby I was involved in over the years.  But photography is the main thing in my life right now that is causing me much distraction.

WHAT I’M NOT SAYING:

I’m not talking about perfection here.  I hope many of you know me enough and know my walk in Christ enough to know that perfectionism is not what I am trying to attain in my life nor is it even possible.  Also, please know that I am also not saying wives cannot pursue personal hobbies, projects or have a business.  There are so many gifted women out there who are a true blessing to others with their talent!  But there has to be a balance and it must be in obedience to God’s Word.  Scripture is clear that women’s primary responsibilities are for her husband, family, and home. (Titus 2, Proverbs 31)  When something consistently and significantly pulls you away from those responsibilities, it is time to reconsider whether that is truly the LORD’s will for you to do – at all or  for that season of your life.

I am a slow learner when it comes to my roles at home, but I am thankful that I am learning nonetheless.  I am continuing to be set apart for Him and that is exciting!  I am also realizing that my desire for the approval of men has been a driving factor for most (if not all) my struggles.  But that is to be a topic left for another post.  :D

MY ANNOUNCEMENT:

With all that said, the main point of this post is to announce that I will be giving up professional photography completely after May.  It’s something I knew I needed to do for at least a year, but was too selfish to fully let go of it and to be obedient to the LORD in it.   (Did I say I was a slow learner? LOL)  I will keep the commitments I’ve scheduled for April and May, but that’s it.  And I am not currently accepting any new sessions.  Sorry!  But THANK YOU all for your wonderful support, especially for those who have followed me from the beginning!  Who knows when or if I will return to any level of professional photography.  But I am at peace with whatever the LORD’s will is in this.  And I am content photographing just on a personal level for now.   :)

I LOVE being a wife, mother and a keeper-at-home!  It is a HIGH CALLING from the LORD indeed, and one that will impact our next generation.  Now it’s time for me to finally excel at doing my FIRST and BEST work there — only by the grace of God and only for His glory!  It’s not going to be easy undoing a lot of selfish habits, but I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

Titus 2:4-5:  “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

From www.illbehonest.com, this is a video testimony of a Daniel Perez who was deep into drugs and then tried to reform himself and get religious, yet was never born-again till he truly trusted in Christ.

I have never been a voracious reader, and most definitely not when it comes to reading for pleasure.  Reading has often been set aside for more entertaining uses of my time (and requiring less mental focus), such as the television and computer.  It’s in this case that I should read MORE.   But  on the other hand,  I am an “information junkie” — skim reading books and articles to mainly get the information I am looking for.  This often times results in information overload for me and I am unable to retain a lot of  the information.  So, it is in this type of reading, which John Piper describes as “superficial reading”, I must read LESS in order to better master what I am reading.

I recently came across a blog post that quoted an excerpt from John Piper’s book, Brothers, We Are Not Professionals (emphasis mine) , which I found very enlightening:

I [do not] want to give the impression that I think there is virtue in reading many books.  In fact one of my greatest complaints in seminary was that professors trained students in bad habits of superficial reading because they assigned too many books.  I agree with Spurgeon: “A student will find that his mental constitution is more affected by one book thoroughly mastered than by twenty books which he has merely skimmed, lapping at them.”  God save us from the allurement of “keeping up with Pastor Jones” by superficial skimming.  Forget about “keeping up”.  It only feeds pride and breeds spiritual barrenness.  Instead devote yourself to boring in and going deep.  There is so much soul-refreshing, heart-deepening, mind-enlarging truth to be had from great books!

With the above in mind, below is my Book List for 2011.  My goal is to read 15-20 books during the year, in addition to reading through the Bible.  In no particular order, here is my list of  Christian living and homemaking books I would like to read by the end of this year:

1. Susannah Spurgeon: Free Grace and Dying Love – by Susannah Spurgeon
2. Pleasing People: How not to become an approval junkie – by Lou Priolo (*)
3. Health for Godly Generations – by Renee DeGroot
4. A Call to Prayer – by J. C. Ryle (re-read)
5. Spiritual Depression – by Martin Lloyd-Jones (*)
6. Of Plymouth Plantation – by William Bradford
7. Mother – by Kathleen Norris
8. Practical Religion – by J. C. Ryle
9. Bondage of the Will – by Martin Luther
10. First We Have Coffee – by Margaret Jensen (re-read)
11. The Excellent Wife – by Martha Peace (re-read)
12. The Peacemaker: Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict – by Ken Sande
13. Seeing and Savoring Jesus – by John Piper
14. Biblical Womanhood In The Home – by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
15. The Attributes of God – by A. W. Pink
16. Deadly Disclosures (Dinah Harris Mysteries, book 1) – by Julie Cave
17. The Shadowed Mind (Dinah Harris Mysteries, book 2) – by Julie Cave

Other titles will be added and this list quite possibly edited as other books are placed on my heart to read.  A title with an (*) next to it is the book I am currently reading.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” – Hosea 4:6
“When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes” – Erasmus

Happy New Year to anyone who is even still following my blog! :D I am excited for the start of another year and getting re-focused again. Lots has happened since my last (official) post 4 months ago. Lots of growing, learning, rethinking and reprioritizing. I wanted to take this time to quickly share with you my goals for 2011. I am not big on “resolutions” — never really could keep them past 2 weeks. But there is wisdom in planning and setting goals to strive for. I know that I can only achieve and have success in these goals when I have truly committed them to the LORD and, by His grace, it falls in line with His sovereign plan for my life.

With that said, here are my 2011 GOALS:

• PRAYER, PRAYER, PRAYER — I’m talking about a DEEP commitment to my private time with the LORD in fervent prayer every day!  Without this as core discipline in my life, I will struggle greatly and will not have true peace that surpasses all understanding.  And I know this to be true — I’ve been there for so long!  I highly recommend the book, A Call to Prayer, by J. C. Ryle (puritan pastor in the late 1800′s).  This little 32-page booklet revealed more to me about the importance of my private prayer life with God than any other (man-made) book or sermon I’ve read/heard on this topic.  Very powerful!
• MORNING ROUTINE – Over the years, there has been one thing that I have felt extremely convicted in but have failed miserably in living it out, and that is getting up early (before my family) to have my time with the LORD in prayer and in His Word and to also get ready for the day.  This year, I commit to being more consistent in waking up early.  My goal is to arise by 5am each day.
• FAMILY FOCUS – I am a self-proclaimed man pleaser and approval junkie!  My eyes have recently been opened to this truth in my life and I am disgusted by it.  As a result of this wicked, idolatrous sin, I have ignored the needs of my family and in keeping up with my home way too much in order to please the needs of others and gain their approval.  There is a place for serving others, don’t get me wrong.  But not when you ignore serving your FIRST priorities – God, your family and your home.  I seek to repent of this and truly focus on my family this year, being the wife, mother and keeper-at-home God has called me to be.
• HEALTH CHALLENGE – I am starting the year with an 8-week health/fitness challenge (today is my first day)!  My focus is on deep cleansing my body and will be following The Rose Cleanse program by Natalia Rose.  The actual cleanse itself may only last 2 weeks, but I will be following her principles of “quick exit” meals for the remainder of the challenge.   I also plan to commit to exercising a minimum of 20 minutes for 5-days each week.
• BLOGGING – As you can see in my sporadic blogging, I am not able to post as often as I would like.  Actually, the goals for my blog is to post when I feel led to post and not feel confined to any blogging schedule.  My priorities at home and to my family must come first, so I will post as I have the time and feel led by the LORD to do so.
• PROJECT 52 (PHOTOGRAPHY) – I am still loving photography and have increasing requests for sessions.  To continue to improve on my photography skills, I plan to participate in Project 52 – a photography challenge where I post one photograph a week for the next 52 weeks during the year.  This challenge will also have themes to it.
• MEMORIZE SCRIPTURE – Another weak area of mine!  My goal is to memorize 1 to 2 scripture verses a week using the “A Wife of Honor” Bible flashcards by Bible Memory Challenge (www.biblememory.org).  And if time allows, memorizing a book of the Bible.
• PERSONAL READING – I will be putting together a 2011 Book List of 20 books I would like to read by the end of the year.  Of course, this could change as the year goes along and as other books may pique my interest.   But my desire is to grow in knowledge (for His glory not my own) and to not waste so much of my time being entertained for entertainment’s sake.
• HOMEMAKING SKILLS – I would like to excel more in my homemaking skills.  I plan to continue what I’ve done in the past — focus on a new skill each quarter.   The skills I want to learn (or strengthen) are: sourdough baking, soap making, gardening, and ?? (Not sure about the 4 yet, as of this writing)

There you have it!  Seems like a lot?  Not really.  Not in the strength of the LORD.  Actually, it really isn’t anything new to what I’ve been trying to achieve over the years.  I have wasted so much time in frivolous things to please my flesh.  I am not saying there isn’t time for rest, but not at the expense of being idle, passive, and sluggish – of which we can easily fall into when we are used to living for our own fleshly pleasures.   The time that we have on this earth is precious and short.  And we must utilize every moment for the glory of the LORD and in pleasing and serving Him.

My ultimate desire is to magnify the LORD in my life as much as I can and TAKE DOMINION in the areas He has called me to – for His glory!

“Commit your works to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, But everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” (Proverbs 21:5)

“…All things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23)

“…With men [it is] impossible, but not with God: for with God, all things are possible.”  (Matthew 10:27)